Ok so I am currently reading a rather hilarious thread on twitter. It's some man complaining about the "men are trash" tag once again. I try not to use it anymore (try being the operative word) because apparently it is problematic but I also really hate seeing people drag the phrase.
Here is the link to the first tweet in the thread. Laugh then come back xx
So, the first tweet that stuck out to me was when he asked how we expect to go to the club and find a decent man................ I can't find a decent man in the club because men are trash. The indecent man I meet in the club is the same indecent man I will see at church. I am more likely to find a man who is into partying and maybe not interested in settling, but that doesn't mean he can't be decent. The two aren't mutually exclusive. If he wanted to say "don't go to the club looking for a relationship" that's fair... but to say that clubbing men aren't decent? hmm actually that kinda makes a case for why men suck, they are allowed to get away with being indecent people through the club setting, which shouldn't be the case because wherever you are you should always be a decent person, even if you are involving in some 'indecent' club activities.
Then, he said this: "What do these women think it will achieve? Do they think trash men read it & think "Preach sis, I'm gonna reevaluate my behaviour asap"?"
This reaalllyyyy annoyed me because some men would in fact say "preach sis", some men would in fact re-evaluate their behaviour and evaluate the society we live in, and those men will join us to say "men are trash". I mean, if you find it sooo offensive and bothersome then you surely you should try to understand why it is being said, rather than dismissing it and undermining a tag that is clearly born out of suffering. If you cba to understand and you just think it's annoying then stfu and move on cos you shouldn't really yap and thread about what you don't know.
But this tweet led me to think about something wider. The other day, a male friend of mine said he keeps up with my blog but he can't really like it because he feels like it is attacking him, because he's a man and 'men are the problem'. I felt really bad so I have planned to be even less attacky (starting from now, lol) but I also wanted to share this picture to the male readers who might get offended:
Me, I am more about 'educating' people, so I want my blog to be as comfortable for everyone as it can be so people come back and learn more etc. But another point I want to make is that the feminist movement isn't just letting people know there is a thing called feminism and we should all be feminists, it's a movement that is advocating change and feminism doesn't care and shouldn't care about people feeling uncomfortable (in my humble opinion). If the concept and idea of equality makes you feel uncomfortable then you should check yourself and then thank the movement for reminding you to check yourself. Sure sometimes someone expresses their feminist ideology (is that the right word?) in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable, but when that happens to me (about any ideology) I try to look beyond what the person did and find the message they are trying to convey. Like that woman who named her baby boy "Vagina". I find it rather bizarre but before I can knock her, I have to understand what point she is trying to make. Then once you understand what they are saying and you know you don't agree with the message, bash and berate away. But if, like me, you can't be bothered to understand it, then keep your bashing and berating to yourself.
So conclusion, whatever ideology makes you feel uncomfortable try to understand it before you knock it. Be like my friend who still comes back to read even though he feels attacked. Be interested in why you feel attacked and offended so that you can finally agree with their point of view or you can coooome fooorrrrr theeeem, without looking like a damn fool. But if you aren't interested in learning (option number 3) stay mute and carry on with your life.